I am a 50 year old divorced single female, mother of a 28 year old son who finally moved out on his own 2 years ago. I decided to begin dating again 1 1/2 years ago after a 7 year absence from the dating scene.
Ten months ago, I met Hank, who at that time, was an "unofficially separated" man, living in the basement of his family home, a "Cellar Dweller," as I nicknamed him. He had no relations with the mother of his children for 7 years, so he said.
Sadly, after speaking with some of his family members, close friends, former clients and other associates who knew Hank's personal life, this was indeed the truth!
Unfortunately, some close family members turned against Hank after the ex-to-be started "spinning her web" of deception and dissention within his family! Remaining true alongside Hank are his own parents, and his 8 yr old son who only shows love and affection for his father as varried attempts to change this are taking place, as you will read in Hank's Blog.
I could not understand why a person would remain in this type of "arrangement."
My own upbringing was dysfunctional and the unhappiness in my family was damaging to me. I have experienced and known many torments resulting from "unbalanced and untrue" relationships and interactions. Hank's role playing as the family man and the single man was disturbing to see and hear.
"I am staying for the kids" statement he made sickened me, my parents had stayed together for the sake of the kids as well, I have a clinical diagnosis from this "gesture of love and kindness", it is a life long affliction I deal with daily, so NO, I do not advocate bringing up children in an abusive relationship which is NOT based on love and nurturing affection between the parents.
My own son has formed a healthy and decent exchange with Hank.
We are both aware that his physical restrictions are real, to his own family which includes his three oldest children, his soon to be 2nd ex-wife, and some relatives, she has managed to falsify and influenced claims 1. he is not handicapped, 2. he is not in pain 3. and he is not disabled.
I have seen the MRI's, taken him to doctors and hospitals and seen his everyday pain and struggles, and the medicactions which do not always work (17 pills daily). Plus, there are 7 doctors actively treating him!
Essentially he is being abused by denial of a reality which he must cope with, he is disabled, his family wishes only to be financially supported and they have no compassion for this man in any other area.
The denial of his disabilities is unfathomable to me, but this is the core of most dysfunction SO COMMON TO THE PSYCHOPATH!
The content of this web site is simply commentary and the profile of one man's story. This is not be be confused as to be professional advice of any sort. We urge all to seek professional advice. Please do not take any of this experience as the advice for your needs. All cases are different.
